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Nazia Ali
Emotional intelligence
Batch 4
24-10-2025
Break the Cycle: Free Yourself from the Trauma Loop
Sara was a little girl and heard the same words again and again from the family, relatives, even schoolmates,
“Do not wear this color, it does not suit you.”
“Do not go out in the sun you will get darker.”
“Who will marry you looking like that?”
Each comment felt small on its own but over the years, they stacked up like stones on her heart. Now she is in her thirties, a devoted mother and a loving wife. But every time she looks in the mirror, those old voices echo inside her. When someone compliments her, she smiles politely but does not believe them. When she sees a photo of herself, her first instinct is to find flaws. It is not her weakness even not failure. It is her nervous system trying to protect her from what once hurt her most. Her protection turns into imprisonment.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
It is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. This can include physical or sexual assault, natural disasters, accidents, or childhood abuse. PTSD causes intense disturbing thoughts and feelings related to the trauma long after the event has ended.
Symptoms:
• Re-experiencing the event through unwanted, distressing memories, nightmares or flashbacks
• Avoiding such people, places, activities or thoughts that are related to past trauma and feelings that are reminders of the trauma.
• Feeling negatively about oneself or others.
• Facing difficulty experiencing positive emotions.
• Feeling irritable, hyper-vigilant, easily startled, or having trouble sleeping, focusing, or regulating emotions like anger, fear, or guilt frustration.
Increasing evidence from research and clinical practice shows that a history of trauma is a potent risk factor for psychological disorders (Davidson et al., 1991; Keane et al., 2006) of which posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is the most common (APA, 2013).
Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey delve into the profound impact of early experiences on our development, emphasizing the importance of understanding trauma through the lens of "What happened to you?" rather than "What's wrong with you?" in his book “What Happened to You?” The 5 R’s as described by Dr. Bruce Perry are Rhythmic, Repetitive, Relational, Rewarding, and Relevant. They describe the kinds of experiences needed in order to heal trauma, and how we can help facilitate that.
How to get rid of trauma:
• Acknowledge and validate the impact of trauma.
• Stay in touch with family and friends.
• Practice self-care.
• Use relaxation techniques.
• Identifying causes and triggers.
• Embracing post-traumatic growth and renewed purpose
• Seek for help and therapy, go for counseling.
• Frequently ask questions to yourself.
“When we keep our stories locked up inside of us, darkness wins. We must share what we’ve lived, what we’ve learned, and how we have become stronger through our experiences, in hopes that it helps others find their voice, too.”
Laura Gagnon, The Book Satan Doesn't Want You To Read
References:
Davidson J., Hughes D., Blazer D. G., George L. K. (1991). Post-traumatic stress disorder in the community: an epidemiological study. Psychol. Med. 21 713–721. 10.1017/s0033291700022352 [DOI] [PubMed] [Google Scholar]
Keane T. M., Marshall A. D., Taft C. T. (2006). Posttraumatic stress disorder: etiology, epidemiology, and treatment outcome. Annu. Rev. Clin. Psychol. 2 161–197. 10.1146/annurev.clinpsy.2.022305.095305 [DOI] [PubMed] [Google Scholar]
APA (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Arlington: American Psychiatric Publising. [Google Scholar]
