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Most of the time, it’s not real selfishness. It’s pressure.
When someone has grown up with limited money, limited chances, and constant uncertainty, life already feels like a struggle. Then the kids come in, and suddenly everything becomes heavier. Now it’s not just about them, but protecting and securing a future for someone else. That pressure changes how a person thinks.
They stop taking risks. They stop being as open. They start holding tighter to whatever they have, like money, time, or even relationships. From the outside, it can look like they’ve become selfish. But inside, it’s usually fear: “What if my child suffers as I did?”
In desi culture, there’s also social pressure. Parents feel responsible not just to raise kids, but to make them “successful” in society. That can make them overly controlling or focused only on their own family, ignoring others.
But let’s be honest, sometimes it does go too far. Fear can turn into control. Care can turn into harshness. And in trying to protect their children, some parents lose their softness and empathy.
I shall appreciate constructive feedback.
