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The mother looked on helplessly as the 6 year old pushed the child next to her, smiled and continued playing on the playground. This scene had played out many times before despite the mother's protest and repeated advice “don't do that again”. She couldn't understand how to handle the situation anymore. Since hitting a child or shouting was obviously discouraged in the culture, how was she to ensure the stubborn child could be stopped from harming others?
Although children are born on the fitrah which is pure and untainted, many emotions and behaviours rely on the parenting skills of the father and mother to mold and perfect. Establishing the balance of justice and fairness is critical in encouraging emotional regulation in a child. When there is no accountability for their actions, what exactly are we teaching the child?
Both extremes of either too much training and no training at all for a wrong action by a child will create an imbalance in the barometer of the young ones. Similarly, if one child is held responsible for their incorrect actions while another child is excused from the standards would create feelings of unfairness and jealousy. This can further erode the trust in the natural balance of justice and fairness leading to potential future issues.
Understanding the child's psychology and the innate need for justice and fairness is crucial for parents. The art of punishment is the intricate balance every parent must understand and practice for the future of the child who collectively make up the ummah.
